Catholic New York 3-11-10
Help After Abortion
Subway ad campaign offers compassion and healing
http://www.cny.org/archive/ld/ld15031110.htm
By CLAUDIA McDONNELL
An ad campaign in the New York City subways this month offers hope to women who are suffering from a problem that’s often hidden or suppressed, with painful consequences: sadness and distress following an abortion.
The ads point the way to peace of mind, and it all begins confidentially, with a visit to a Web site.
“Abortion Changes You” is the name of the campaign. It is aimed not only at women but also at men who have been affected by abortion. It is nondenominational and is not connected to any church or religious group; it’s an outreach to people of all faiths or of none. Private donors have underwritten the cost. The ads went up March 1 and will remain through March 28.
This is the second time the ads have appeared in the subways; a previous campaign took place in the fall of 2008. This time, however, the outreach is more extensive; the number of subway cars with the ads has doubled to 2,000.
The campaign conveys an additional message, besides the one that appears in print: If the pain of abortion has gone deep, like a subway train descending into a dark tunnel, there is a way out of despair. Those who suffer can find hope, help and healing.
The ads carry the words “Abortion changes you,” with a photo of a woman or man and a simple statement: “I thought life would be the way it was before,” or “My child would have been 6 this year” or “We made the decision together but I’ve never felt so alone.”
Below that statement is the campaign’s Web address: abortionchangesyou.com. The site offers a compassionate message, suggestions on how to begin healing and resources for further help.
The campaign is being sponsored by the archdiocesan Family Life/Respect Life Office. The office is directed by the Sisters of Life, whose apostolate includes postabortion ministry. The sisters have a program, Entering Canaan, which offers days of prayer and healing for women and for men.
Theresa Bonopartis helped the Sisters of Life to develop Entering Canaan. She is the director of Lumina, a postabortion ministry sponsored by Good Counsel Homes, and she has worked for 20 years with women suffering from negative thoughts and emotions including grief, remorse, anger, shame and guilt. Last weekend Lumina presented its first program for siblings of aborted children.
Discussing the Abortion Changes You campaign in an interview, Ms. Bonopartis said, “Personally, I love the ads,” and added that the campaign “is probably more effective than we’ll ever know,” simply because it might encourage women to seek help on their own—whether or not they approach a particular program.
Ms. Bonopartis herself had an abortion, and she said that women with postabortion stress “are walking around feeling isolated and alone.” Even family members usually don’t talk to them about what they are experiencing, she said.
“The ads let them know they’re not alone,” she said. “They legitimize what they’re going through.”
A woman named Mary spoke with CNY about her abortion many years ago. She said that her husband insisted that she abort her third pregnancy because of the severe postpartum depression she had experienced after giving birth to their two children.
“I gave in and had the abortion,” she said. “I no sooner did it than I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life.” A few months later her husband died suddenly, and the strain of adjusting to widowhood and caring for her two young children led her to put her anguish out of her mind. Years later it came back. When psychological and medical treatment failed to help, she decided to commit suicide.
While putting her possessions in order, she found a newspaper clipping about the Entering Canaan program, and she called the Sisters of Life and attended a session.
“That was the beginning of my healing,” she said. Now she speaks at weekend retreats for postabortive women.
Ms. Bonopartis said that the Abortion Changes You outreach is important because it shows women that their suffering is real. The American Psychological Association states that postabortion stress does not exist, she noted, yet Lumina gets 200 calls a year from people suffering from it, with hardly any advertising other than word-of-mouth and notices in churches.
Abortion Changes You was founded by Michaelene Fredenberg, who had an abortion at 18 and struggled afterward with deep grief and anger until she found help through counseling therapy and from friends. She now speaks and writes about her experience.
